3. CH2-Accepting Personal Responsibility

Chapter TWO: Accepting Personal Responsibility

Quiz 1, Language of Responsibility, ABC

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Homework

Note: No late assignments will be accepted. 2

Quiz Time

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Accepting Personal Responsibility

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Adopting the Creator Role “The essence of personal responsibility is responding wisely to life’s opportunities and challenges, rather than waiting passively for luck or other people to make the choices for us.”

• When people keep doing what they’ve been doing even when it doesn’t work, they are acting as VICTIMS • When people change their beliefs and behaviors to create the best results they can, they are acting as CREATORS • The key ingredient of personal responsibility is CHOICE

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Responsibility Model

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Self-Talk (internal voice)

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Self-Talk (internal voice) - continue

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Self-Talk (internal voice) - continue • The Inner Critic – Blames us for whatever goes wrong in our life – “Everything is my fault.”

• The Inner Defender – Deflects all criticism and places it on others – “Everything is their fault.”

• The Inner Guide – Seeks to make the best of any situation (wisdom) – “Am I on course or off course?” If I’m off course, what can I do to get back on course?” 10

Changing Victim Language • If I weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to take this dumb class again.

• I would make the team if the coach was fair.

• I know I didn’t spend nearly enough time studying last semester. I’m going to study this subject from 3:30-4:30 every day. I’ll also go to tutoring center for 2 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

• I’m going to increase my strength, speed and skills so I can earn a position on the team.

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Applying the Concept: Victim Vs. Creator • “I got cheated on this grade!” • “I’m going to meet with my professor to find out exactly what I need to change.” • “I know I’ll do lousy this term because my schedule is so messed up.”

• “People on my study team are lazy and worthless. I’m quitting.” • I didn’t understand the tutor I saw today. I’ll go back tomorrow and see if I can find a different tutor who explains things in a way that makes more sense to me.” 12

Language of Responsibility • • • •

Language of Responsibility Worksheet Work in groups 10 minutes Share out

Language of Responsibility Worksheet

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The Wise Choice Process 1. 2. 3. 4.

What’s my present situation? How would I like my situation to be? What are my possible choices? What’s the likely outcome of each possible choice? 5. Which choice(s) will I commit to doing? 6. When and how will I evaluate my plan?

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The Wise Choice Process (SAMPLE) 1. What’s my present situation? –

I stayed up all night studying for my first history test. When I finished taking the test, I hoped for an A. At worst, I expected a B. When I got the test back, my grade was a D. Five other students got A’s. I feel depressed and angry.

2. How would I like my situation to be? –

I would like to get A’s on all of my future test.

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The Wise Choice Process (SAMPLE) 3.

What are my possible choices? a) b) c) d) e) f) g) h) i)

Complain to classmates & anyone who would listen Drop class & take it next term with another instructor Complain to the department head about grade Ask classmate for help Ask instructor for suggestions about improving grade Read about study skills & implement new study techniques Request an opportunity to retest Do all practice quizzes online Get a tutor

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What’s the likely outcome of each possible choice? a) b) c)

d) e) f)

g) h) i)

Immediate pleasure blasting the instructor & get sympathy Lose 3 units & time because I might have to make it up Department head might redirect to talk to instructor Might learn new study skills and make new friends Learn what to do next time & shows that you care Learn new strategies & might help improve future score Might get a re-test & show that you care Help improve future score Help improve, but will take time

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The Wise Choice Process (SAMPLE) 5. Which choice(s) will I commit to doing? –

I’ll talk to my successful classmates, make an appointment with my instructor and have him explain what I could do to improve, and I’ll request an opportunity to retake the test. I’ll read the study skills sections of On Course and implement at least 3 new study strategies. If these choices don’t raise my next test score, then I’ll get a tutor

6. When & how will I evaluate my plan? –

After my next history test, I’ll see if I have achieved my goal of getting an A. If not, I’ll revise my plan.

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Change Your Inner Conversation • Albert Ellis – “The answer lies in what each personal believes caused the event… our different responses could be understood by realizing that the activating event (A) plus our beliefs (B) equal the consequences (C) (how we respond).”

A+B=C • KEY: Stop the irrational belief (or what he called stinkin’ thinkin’) and start positive beliefs and behaviors 18

Activating Event

Beliefs

Consequence

Student #1: Instructor didn’t show up for a scheduled conference/student meeting

My instructor thinks I’m dumb. I’ll never get a college degree. I’m a failure in life.

Got depressed and watched television all evening.

Student #2: SAME

My instructor won’t help me. Teachers don’t care about students.

Got angry and spent the night telling friends how horrible the instructor is.

I’m not sure what went wrong. Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you plan. There’s always tomorrow.

Studied for another class. Planned to call the instructor the next day to see what happened and set up a new appointment.

??? ???

Student #3: SAME

???

??? ??? ???

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Homework • • • •

Journal 5 – page 40 Journal 6 – page 47 Journal 7 – page 53 Read Wise Choices in College – Reading – page 57

Journals for 5th edition only: • 4, 5, 6

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Study Guide • • • • •

Responsibility Model: Victim Vs. Creator Inner Critic, Inner Defender, Inner Guide Personal Responsibility The Wise Choice Process A+B=C

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