Listening and dialogue RA

Listening and dialogue Rebecka Arman

Four fields of conversation (Isaacs) • Flow dialogue

• Politeness

• Inquiry

4

3

1

2 • Break through

Modes of communication • Serial monologue (phase 1) – Solo advocacy – Making speeches – Maintain a smooth surface (politeness)

• Verbal brawling/unproductive discussion (1-2) – Win/lose – No Inquiry – Control Outcome – Soft data, implicit reasoning

Modes of communication ctd • Facilitated conversation (phase 2-3) – Guided conversation – Structured Inquiry (AI?)

• Skillful conversation (phase 3) – Hard (observable) data – Explicit reasoning – Productive Inquiry

Modes of conversation ctd • Reflective dialogue (phase 3) – Restructuring underlying thinking – Clarifies choices – Surfaces deep questions/puzzles

• Generative dialogue (phase 4) – Recreates underlying thinking – Transforms tacit thought – Enables wisdom to emerge – Produces insight and compulsion to act

Four fields of conversation

• Flow dialogue

• Politeness

• Inquiry

4

3

1

2 • Break through

The four player model Move Function: direction

Bystand

Follow

Function: perspective

Function: completion

Oppose Function: correction

Action positions and fears Action intends:

But sometimes comes across as:

Mover

Discipline Commitment Perfection Clarity

Impatient Indecisive Scattered Dictatorial

Follower

Loyalty Service Continuity Compassion

Placating Indecisive Wishy-Washy Over accommodating

Opposer

Courage Protection Integrity Survival

Critical Competitive Blaming Contrary

Bystander

Patience Preservation Moderation Self-Reflection

Disengaged Judgmental Deserting Withdrawn Silent

When one or more dynamic is missing Intent

What can I do?

How can I help provide what is missing?

Move

Jointly design action

“I think we should XX, Sarah would you…?”

“Sarah, what do you think we should do?”

Follow

Commit to trying another’s direction

“That’s a great idea! How can I help?”

“How can we support Peter’s suggestion?”

Oppose

Raise differences to purposes of testing

“An alternative approach might be to…”

“Does anyone see anything in this that might not work?”

Bystand

Test your view of what’s happening

“I’ve noticed that we’ve been circling the same topic for some time. Perhaps we want to…”

“What are we overlooking?”

Four fields of conversation • Flow dialogue

• Politeness

• Inquiry

4

3

1

2 • Break through

Practices for Dialogue (Isaacs) Voice Speaking from one’s deepest self

Suspend

Listen

Stepping back to perceive what is taken for granted

To partake of and take part in

Respect Honoring and witnessing the legitimacy of another’s stance and point of view

Assumption Identification

The ladder of inference (Argyris/Senge):

Actions (based on beliefs) Adoption of beliefs (about the world) Drawing conclusions Making assumptions (based on meanings) Adding meaning to observation (personal/cultural) Observation/data (experiences)

Exercise with Four practices • Think of a recent conversation that you had that was difficult, in some way • Five minutes to write it down: – What you said and what the other(s) said, as you recall it

• Work three persons together: – – – – – – –

3 minutes tell each other briefly about the conversations Choose one to work with Decide who is coach and one is observer Tell about the conversation in a little more detail One minute silence 7 minutes questions and answers, INQUIRY 7 minutes feed-back from all: what did you learn? When did the conversation open up?